Dementia changes the way a person thinks, remembers and carries out everyday activities. Sometimes this means that a person puts on several shirts at once, wears mismatched socks or puts underwear over sweatpants. To an observer, this may seem like a mistake or raise the question of why no one intervenes.

In fact, in such situations the most important question is quite different – was the person able to do it independently?

At Südamekodud, we believe that independence does not mean only being able to do something perfectly. Independence means having the opportunity to carry out the activities a person is still able to do on their own. This is what helps preserve skills, self-confidence and dignity for as long as possible.

For example, we have a resident who is now able to walk and dress independently again, although they were bedbound when they first came to us. Sometimes the resident puts on several pairs of socks, occasionally even over slippers, or dresses differently from what is considered usual. If the extra clothes are removed, the resident goes back to their room and happily puts them on again. What matters to this person is being able to do it independently.

For a person living with dementia, it is not only important to be able to do something independently – having something meaningful to do is equally important. Because of the condition, a person may find it difficult to focus on one activity for a long time or participate in everything offered according to the daily schedule. However, if the person finds an activity that interests them and gives them a sense of purpose – even if it means getting dressed or rearranging their clothes several times during the day – we support it. Our goal is not to direct the person from one activity to another at all costs, but to find what currently brings them joy, a sense of security and an opportunity to act independently.

Another resident, a former teacher, also dresses independently and does not want assistance. Most of the time, the resident manages very well, although occasionally the clothes may be worn in a slightly unusual way. If this does not pose a risk to the resident’s health or safety, our goal is not to correct it at all costs. However, we always help when the weather or situation requires it – for example, by helping with warmer clothing in cold weather or removing extra layers in hot weather.

The same principle applies to eating. Some people eat slowly or spill a little food. Although feeding them would be quicker, we encourage them to hold the spoon and eat independently for as long as possible. Often, simply being able to eat independently or lift a cup on their own brings great joy. This is how skills can be preserved for as long as possible.

Sometimes the desire for independence is expressed in a completely different way. A resident may sweep the corridor floor or "clean", even though there is no actual dirt to remove. This activity gives the person a sense of purpose, a familiar role and the feeling of still being needed. For a person with dementia, such an activity may be far more important than its practical outcome.

It is also important to understand that a person with dementia is still an adult who has the right to make choices. For example, they may prefer to eat with a spoon because they have done so all their life, or prefer food from a bowl rather than a plate. If such a preference does not put their health or safety at risk, we respect it. Our goal is not to make the person behave in a more "correct" way, but to support their habits, dignity and quality of life.

For a loved one, some of these situations may initially seem strange or even appear to be neglect. However, they often reflect a conscious decision to support the person’s independence. With dementia, it is not always most important for everything to be perfect – sometimes it is far more important that the person can manage independently. These small everyday achievements help preserve self-confidence, skills and joy of life for as long as possible.